The Romantic: Remember, that girl I was telling you about? The one who has a man? The Player: Yeah, the one with the man. Her. I sure do. The Romantic: I’m going after her kind of hard, man. The Player: What do you mean, “going after”? The Romantic: I mean, I’ve been pursuing her, trying to get her to leave him for me. The Player: Oh no, you don’t do that. What the hell is wrong with you? The Romantic: Says the player… The Player: Yeah, well, it’s going to sound ass backwards, but I’m very much against taking another man’s woman, especially if they’re in a relationship. The Romantic: You make no sense, you’re a player! You boast about this constantly and now you’re saying you don’t want women to do the same thing? The Player: Basically. Look, I’m willing to cop to who I am but I don’t want a woman doing the same thing. There’s a reason we call them the fairer sex. The Romantic: Still not making sense… The Player: Man, do you know how hard it is for most men to have the mentality you have? Most men don’t. Most men, when they settle down, they do so on a wing and a prayer, it’s like they say, Okay, I’m going to do this with this one woman, and it better work. They end up putting their all into it because it actually goes against their basic behavior which is essentially to be with as many women as they can. So when a woman gets involved with another man, the man she’s with gets his heart broken, sure. But what really happens is he loses complete faith in the idea of commitment.

The Player: Man, do you know how hard it is for most men to have the mentality you have? Most men don’t. Most men, when they settle down, they do so on a wing and a prayer, it’s like they say, Okay, I’m going to do this with this one woman, and it better work. They end up putting their all into it because it actually goes against their basic behavior which is essentially to be with as many women as they can. So when a woman gets involved with another man, the man she’s with gets his heart broken, sure. But what really happens is he loses complete faith in the idea of commitment. The Romantic: Okay, fine, I get that, but what if you know the man she’s with doesn’t deserve her? The Player: Well, how do you know that? The Romantic: Well, if he was doing his job right, the woman I’m trying to get with wouldn’t even be entertaining leaving him for me. The Player: That’s just the grass looking greener on the other side. In the end though, it’s still just grass. You’re just grass. The Romantic: But she could build a house on my grass. The Player: Huh? The Romantic: I’m not trying to get this girl to cheat on her man with me. I’m trying to get her to leave her man for me. See the difference? The Player: That’s as much of a difference as six in one hand and half-a-dozen in the other. The Romantic: No, it isn’t. There’s a huge difference. I’m not asking her to leave her man for a night or two, I’m asking her to leave her man to be with me, to be in a relationship with me. One that she’s truly happy with. I think I’d know if her man was doing her job, and if he was, I wouldn’t even be in the picture.

The Player: Women like attention, my man. That never gets old no matter what type of relationship she has. The Romantic: Well, her man isn’t giving her enough of that attention. I believe if you’re doing your job right, your woman never even gives another man the time of day, let alone extended play. The Player: Well, did you ever think of what happens if she does leave her man for you? That’s a mindfuck, if there ever was one. You’re always going to worry about her doing to you what she did to the man she left. The Romantic: You have a point, but I can’t worry about that until after I get her. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there, but the first thing I have to do is get her to leave him for me. The Player: Do you hear yourself? Look, even if I’m a player, I still abide by a certain set of rules and one of those rules is another man’s woman is off limits. For two reasons: One, there are so many single women out there in the world, why bother with another man’s? Trust me, there a lot of single women. A LOT. I have six of them right now. If you want, I can even set you up with one. The Romantic: HA! Now you’re a pimp? The Player: No, I’m kidding. But really, there are tons of single women out there, so there’s no need to go after one who’s taken. The other thing though is you don’t know what her man is capable of. Trust me, I know. The Romantic: Yeah, you told me that story before. But I’m not afraid of that because I feel like we’re meant to be together, she’s meant to be with me. If she’s meant to be with him, than why isn’t he acting like it?

The Player: Because relationships are a job, and like any job, you’re going to have some good days and you’re going to have some bad days, and… The Romantic: And if you don’t do it right, you’re going to get fired and replaced by someone else. The Player: Hey man, do you. If you believe you can do that much better than her current man, then make your move, but just remember this. The Romantic: What? The Player: Remember two things: One, everything her man did, just don’t do that. You can make mistakes, but let them be new ones, ones she hasn’t seen before. Because she isn’t leaving her man cause you’re like him. She’s leaving him cause you’re the exact opposite. The Romantic: Okay, and what’s the second thing? The Player: Oh, the second thing? Good luck.